Don't believe your friends when they ask you to be honest with them. All they really want is to be maintained in the good opinion they have of themselves.

My favorite thing about you...

Is that you'll scream at me, walk out & completely sell out our friendship over a couple hundred dollars - but then think its okay to use my shit right in front of my face.

grow up.

friends don't grow on trees, you can only betray so many.

"mine now, yours next. but i feel worse for you because you're waiting around. we don't need to go for a drink for me to tell you that."

im now a believer.
but sticking up for you was fun while it lasted.

ps. happy valentines

but im in LOVE! ... right?

this friday midnight i realized something:
it's entirely possible that I have no clue what love really is.

I just might be one of those people.
Let's call a spade a spade here for a minute - just one minute though...

Love is not a perpetual state of being ESPECIALLY when its supposedly with different people.


maybe i am simply perpetualove perpetuaLIKE.


or... maybe im conforming to the numbness of the concrete around me.



growing up or selling out?


a.

onions & jade[ed]

"Guys are like onions.
So many layers - you peel, you peel, you peel...

Eventually you get to the middle & its just the core.

bare

useless.

Then you realize you've been crying the whole time.
just to get to this... the empty fucking core.

that's why I don't fall in love."

- J.Rye (the voice of reason?)

♥ x infinity

there is so much love to be had in the world.
you just have to look for it.

(♥)

my friend just told me she's falling

& for the first time in 4 days...
i really truely smiled.



"but i get butterflies which is really incredible... cause i thought all my butterflies were dead and lying in a pile somewhere"


♥
a.

in t e g r i t y?

it sells for so little - but its all we have left.

...

fuck.

i love smoking...
however, they've just found something in a friend's lung
& ive recently met a guy who's inspiring me to be: even more perfect.

im upset my friends, i think the smoking has gotta go...
gambling with your health at the ripe old age of 21 is starting to feel a little bit passé.

wish me luck.

photography, my ♥

photo cred: david waldman
some photographers are just so f*king brilliant. as far as art goes, to me anyways, what sets them apart is their ability to capture moments in the way they personally have interpreted the situation. & when they truely get someone & see something for what it is, thats crazy to me.


"how do people expect me to act normal - my whole life is completely surreal... ALL the time."
-moi

Underneath it All...

All i wanted was a simple thing
a simple kind of life...


The band No Doubt (ie. Not Gwen Stefani solo) resonates with me, or more so the person I was 5 years ago - & possibly still am. It makes me think back ... we've done this before [see: blog entitled 'simple kind of life']... what if things had been different. What if I made different choices. Bought rings, made promises in front of the bible, etc. etc.

if we met tomorrow for the very first time
would it start all over again would i try to make you mine?
I love my life. But there are certain things & certain people from long ago that I miss as well.

i always thought id be mom
sometimes i wish for a mistake
the longer that i wait the more selfish that i get
you seem like youd be a good dad
These people, these places - will never come back. but I will also never forget them or the option I once had, the option many of us have had & turned down. I guess thats why we've all ended up here.
HERE.

now all the simple things are simply too complicated for my life
now i guess im faithful to my freedom...
a selfish kind of life.



stuck? un-stuck?

...

BAN the Plastic Bag [!!!]

Alright, so...
I know I normally write on here about myself & nothing but myself (so help me God).
BUT there is a cause Im trying to support right now:

Banning the Plastic Bag in Toronto
I know the odds of this happening across the board are pretty much Zer0, but I'd at least like to get some stores involved & get people to start thinking about their consumption.

There are a few clients that Im going to be working with that I know would be interested in some cross-promotion as well... & where there's cross promotion there is money & publicity [&parties]

The problem is, as of right now, there is no official organizations trying to do this in Toronto right now & I by no means have the time to launch a not-for-profit on this capacity. I am however willing to help.

If you or anyone you know is interested in this cause & has some spare time tell them to contact me asap. If you dont know my number you can reach me by commenting on this note.

fyi. Just because this is a NFP organization doesnt mean free work, this person will make some money but it will also be hard work (with me!). Tasks would include some of the following:

Helping write a proposal to get Government grants
Sourcing & working with a graphic designer on the logo & website
Tracking signatures on the petition
Sourcing the cheapest organic bag supplier
Garnering sponsorships (major corporations, designers, media, etc.)
Acting as the official spokesperson for media interviews & events
Working with City Councillors

Let me know if this is something you'd like to get involved in & please pass around my plea as well.

Thanks sooo much guys!

ps. I think we should call the organization Terminating Bagging.
for short: T-BAGGING!
OH SNAP! im brilliant!... ok, maybe not.

pps. there is also a facebook group started by another girl im now working with.
You can find this here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2377287734

Plan B

i dont take birth control, its a horrifying pill & if you take it you should probably just kill yourself NOW.

The point is/was... this blog title is not a referance to birth control.


I've decided to switch gears & take on Plan B, the logical plan... the plan most take.
This plan involves working on myself, my own projects & my own career. Fancy that!
Because I mean really, other people will always disappoint you... its only a matter of time.

& as one of the greatest minds of our time once said, Beyonce (of course)... "Me, Myself & I"

She's so clever, so original, so narcissistic...
gotta love her

computer? negative. fone? negative. sanity? negative.

im going on a little trip. detox. de-stress. & remove myself from debauche.
Ive busted my ass, kissed ass & fallen on my ass for the last 8 weeks & need a bit of time off now. In order to survive, im going to have to make a couple changes... its for the better! Ive been a little girl lost all summer, but now Im happy, recouping & set to focus on things... like red ballons & the return of the Mau.

Until next time kiddies!

xo
au.

ps. theres mice in my house... i think i have to move.

lightbulb moment!

Guess what?! Contrary to popular belief...

Guys on Yonge Street actually arent sleaze after all!

I've just been informed that when they whistle or 'kiss their teeth' at you its simply because they're...

(drumroll please)...

"putting you on notice that they've noticed you"

wel thats good.