i enjoy this.

i would have enjoyed it even more when i was 14 - but i still appreciate it now!

Underneath it All...

All i wanted was a simple thing
a simple kind of life...


The band No Doubt (ie. Not Gwen Stefani solo) resonates with me, or more so the person I was 5 years ago - & possibly still am. It makes me think back ... we've done this before [see: blog entitled 'simple kind of life']... what if things had been different. What if I made different choices. Bought rings, made promises in front of the bible, etc. etc.

if we met tomorrow for the very first time
would it start all over again would i try to make you mine?
I love my life. But there are certain things & certain people from long ago that I miss as well.

i always thought id be mom
sometimes i wish for a mistake
the longer that i wait the more selfish that i get
you seem like youd be a good dad
These people, these places - will never come back. but I will also never forget them or the option I once had, the option many of us have had & turned down. I guess thats why we've all ended up here.
HERE.

now all the simple things are simply too complicated for my life
now i guess im faithful to my freedom...
a selfish kind of life.



stuck? un-stuck?

...

Introducing FLAVIO (he fucks)...

And you guys thought i was bad... I may be into older guys but never ones like this...



FLAVIO BRIATORE
Age: 56
Occupation: Entrepreneur; manager of Renault's Formula One racing team; owner of 'Cipriani London' and the 'Billionaire Club' in Sardinia
Notable Assets: 200-foot yacht; leathery orange tan

This man is...
1) Heidi Klum's baby's daddy
2) The man behind Naomi Campbell's 'Flavio' tattoo.
3) Quoted saying, "Dating Nicole [Kidman] was a mistake, she was older than I usually prefer."
4) Number 1 on Radar Magazine's 'Toxic Bachelors' list.
5) Responsible for dumping Elle Macpherson



The "overweight Italian stallion" has managed to parlay his gratuitous racing fortune and hairy Buddha belly into relationships with the world's most beautiful women, including Nicole Kidman, Elle Macpherson, and Eva Herzigova. He's often spotted off Sardinia on his yacht, Force Blue, with bikini-clad ladies half his age. "I prefer younger girls," he explained to the Daily Mail. "They say thank you for dinner, at least."

But as Heidi Klum learned, free meals are a lot easier to get out of Briatore than child support or fidelity. After his dalliance with a 19-year-old model cut their romance short, Heidi's baby daddy refused to offer financial assistance without a paternity test. A friend of Klum's later told the Post the billionaire never "gave her a dime" to care for their daughter, though Briatore claims otherwise. Klum's aunt tried to remain neutral, describing him to the Mail as a "wrinkly, worthless old has-been ... bastard." Naomi Campbell may have shared those sentiments when she had a tattoo of Briatore's initials removed from her arm. Despite Campbell's accusations of domestic abuse, they've continued their cycle of make-ups and break-ups. It seems, however hard he tries, Briatore is unable to commit to just one size zero. "You know how it is with women," he told the Guardian last year. "The big excitement comes with the flirting. You flirt, flirt, flirt, and then you are there." -Radar

Sick.