she said.

me:

if i could marry D**** & M******... i would be the happiest girl in the world. i swear amanda - i swear it. i would never ask for anything again, ever.
no purses no nothing.

she:

oh no.
you could become mormon?

me:

whyyy doesnt jesus love me!?

she:

thats backwards.
jesus doesnt love anybody. he's dead. 

what are we all talking about?

Bob Dylan (Time Magazine interview)

but i dropped out...!? for a reason.

"Don't kid yourself my girl, this IS highscool."
-Mr. Os


ugh.

he's allllwayss right.


(tell him i said that & die)

jump!

There are soo many talented people that just lack motivation.
They stay in their fishbowls & stare out at the world around them.

Critique, complain, procrastinate.


I say, just get your hands dirty already...

& JUMP!

missquotes...

so i replied...

"i love you too, sometimes."

the real question is this: was that my moment of honesty?

uh oh.


WOAH... i need to delete this.
im just a person who likes to question myself - especially when im drunk & very much in love.

i think im just used to having love garnished with pain

but this time, there's just lovely cherries!

ps.

that "inspiring guy"...
http://youngfabulousbroke.blogspot.com/2007/12/fuck.html

turned out to be married.

did i mention i love smoking??

but im in LOVE! ... right?

this friday midnight i realized something:
it's entirely possible that I have no clue what love really is.

I just might be one of those people.
Let's call a spade a spade here for a minute - just one minute though...

Love is not a perpetual state of being ESPECIALLY when its supposedly with different people.


maybe i am simply perpetualove perpetuaLIKE.


or... maybe im conforming to the numbness of the concrete around me.



growing up or selling out?


a.

onions & jade[ed]

"Guys are like onions.
So many layers - you peel, you peel, you peel...

Eventually you get to the middle & its just the core.

bare

useless.

Then you realize you've been crying the whole time.
just to get to this... the empty fucking core.

that's why I don't fall in love."

- J.Rye (the voice of reason?)

i failed economics.

& this week its starting to show...

dry.

some things change...

and some things stay the same.

im back & yes - things have changed.
but this time im still the same.
(i don't know if that's good or bad)

redbull.vodka.vodka.redbull.

... either way : LET'S F*CKING PARTY!

xo.

question mark[ed].

i haven't written yet

because

im still not sure

what


to say.


(but i do know what im supposed to say)


i always know what im supposed to say...

...

the borders of LOVE...

they say that love makes the world-go-round...

& we're all so concerned with the world coming to a stop. we drive hybrid cars, use canvas bags, energy efficient light bulbs.

but when it comes to love, when it comes to the true pulse of the world - why do we use so many restrictions. why do we let people restrict us?

money. emotions. fast cars. corporate jobs. what is your type?

im stuck at the border, with love ... & no way home.

is love enough?



http://www.myspace.com/abeautifulplace